Among King David's aides was his general, named Joab. Joab was a warrior, a fighting man who won a great number of victories for his king. Joab rarely lost his military battles, if ever. If anyone could boast about military victory, it was Joab. However, he had another battle he often fought, and he lost it. It was his battle against revenge. This inability to beat revenge eventually killed him.
The first example we see of Joab's weakness is in 2 Samuel 2-3. In 2 Samuel 2, David is king over Judah but not all of Israel, yet. A man named Abner has anointed one of Saul's sons king over Israel, and now a power struggle has begun between the two houses of royalty. One of the early effects of this is a battle. Abner and Joab both go to war to fight for their respective kings, and in the process, Abner's army is defeated. A real problem for Abner arises when he is followed by a rather overenthusiastic man named Asahel who is one of Joab's brothers.
"Now the three sons of Zeruiah were there: Joab and Abishai and Asahel. And Asahel was as fleet of foot as a wild gazelle. So Asahel pursued Abner, and in going he did not turn to the right hand or to the left from following Abner. Then Abner looked behind him and said, “Are you Asahel?” He answered, “I am.”
And Abner said to him, “Turn aside to your right hand or to your left, and lay hold on one of the young men and take his armor for yourself.” But Asahel would not turn aside from following him. So Abner said again to Asahel, “Turn aside from following me. Why should I strike you to the ground? How then could I face your brother Joab?” However, he refused to turn aside. Therefore Abner struck him in the stomach with the blunt end of the spear, so that the spear came out of his back; and he fell down there and died on the spot. So it was that as many as came to the place where Asahel fell down and died, stood still." (2 Samuel 2:18-23 NKJV)
This is a sad story. Asahel, the brother of Joab, is killed in battle by Abner who is doing little more than executing self-defense. Abner did not seek Asahel's life. He did not want to kill him, but he likely would have been slain had Asahel caught him. Abner did survive the ordeal and called for the end of the battle, something which Joab granted. Joab did find out his brother was dead, however, and he also knew who had killed him.
Later on Abner switches sides after becoming very angry with the man who, up till now, he has served as king. He determines to hand over Israel to David (Abner has much of the power in Israel anyway), and sends to David to work out the details. Of course, David is pleased with this and after eating with Abner, David sends him away back home in peace.
"At that moment the servants of David and Joab came from a raid and brought much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David in Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. When Joab and all the troops that were with him had come, they told Joab, saying, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he sent him away, and he has gone in peace.” Then Joab came to the king and said, “What have you done? Look, Abner came to you; why is it that you sent him away, and he has already gone? Surely you realize that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you, to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.” And when Joab had gone from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, who brought him back from the well of Sirah. But David did not know it. Now when Abner had returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him privately, and there stabbed him in the stomach, so that he died for the blood of Asahel his brother." (2 Samuel 3:22-27 NKJV)
Joab killed Abner in cold blood. However he may have loved his brother, his action could not be justified. Abner had not maliciously sought out Asahel to kill him, but Joab did exactly that to Abner. When David heard of it, he held public mourning for Abner, which Joab had to participate in. This wasn't the end of Joab's thirst for revenge, however.
Later on Israel suffered a political coup in which David's son Absalom tried to usurp him as king. He failed, and Joab ordered his execution in spite of David's orders to keep Absalom safe. This may or may not have been what caused David to make the decision to make Amasa, the man who had been his treacherous son's general, to lead the army for him. This decision was probably unnecessary, and it certainly hurt Joab who had been serving David for years. Unfortunately, Joab handled it with another murder. When Sheba the son of Bichri came against David, the king told Amasa to mobilize the troops.
"And the king said to Amasa, “Assemble the men of Judah for me within three days, and be present here yourself.” So Amasa went to assemble the men of Judah. But he delayed longer than the set time which David had appointed him. And David said to Abishai, “Now Sheba the son of Bichri will do us more harm than Absalom. Take your lord’s servants and pursue him, lest he find for himself fortified cities, and escape us.” So Joab’s men, with the Cherethites, the Pelethites, and all the mighty men, went out after him. And they went out of Jerusalem to pursue Sheba the son of Bichri. When they were at the large stone which is in Gibeon, Amasa came before them. Now Joab was dressed in battle armor; on it was a belt with a sword fastened in its sheath at his hips; and as he was going forward, it fell out. Then Joab said to Amasa, “Are you in health, my brother?” And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa did not notice the sword that was in Joab’s hand. And he struck him with it in the stomach, and his entrails poured out on the ground; and he did not strike him again. Thus he died. Then Joab and Abishai his brother pursued Sheba the son of Bichri. Meanwhile one of Joab’s men stood near Amasa, and said, “Whoever favors Joab and whoever is for David—follow Joab!” (2 Samuel 20:4-11 NKJV)
Regardless of how unreasonable David's decision was, there was no justification for Joab's actions. These two murders were an unfortunate blot on Joab's record, and David never forgot them. In his words to his successor and son Solomon he said: "Moreover you know also what Joab the son of Zeruiah did to me, and what he did to the two commanders of the armies of Israel, to Abner the son of Ner and Amasa the son of Jether, whom he killed. And he shed the blood of war in peacetime, and put the blood of war on his belt that was around his waist, and on his sandals that were on his feet. Therefore do according to your wisdom, and do not let his gray hair go down to the grave in peace." (1 Kings 2:5-6 NKJV) Later on we read how Solomon handled Joab. "Then news came to Joab, for Joab had defected to Adonijah, though he had not defected to Absalom. So Joab fled to the tabernacle of the Lord, and took hold of the horns of the altar. And King Solomon was told, “Joab has fled to the tabernacle of the Lord; there he is, by the altar.” Then Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, saying, “Go, strike him down.” So Benaiah went to the tabernacle of the Lord, and said to him, “Thus says the king, ‘Come out!’” And he said, “No, but I will die here.” And Benaiah brought back word to the king, saying, “Thus said Joab, and thus he answered me.” Then the king said to him, “Do as he has said, and strike him down and bury him, that you may take away from me and from the house of my father the innocent blood which Joab shed. So the Lord will return his blood on his head, because he struck down two men more righteous and better than he, and killed them with the sword—Abner the son of Ner, the commander of the army of Israel, and Amasa the son of Jether, the commander of the army of Judah—though my father David did not know it. Their blood shall therefore return upon the head of Joab and upon the head of his descendants forever. But upon David and his descendants, upon his house and his throne, there shall be peace forever from the Lord.” (2 Kings 2:28-33 NKJV)
This is a tragic end to a man who was close to David for years. Revenge ruined him. We must not make the same mistake Joab did. We cannot allow ourselves to hate people who wrong us or hurt us, and seek revenge on them. God has said:
"Do not say, “I will recompense evil”;
Wait for the Lord, and He will save you." (Proverbs 20:22 NKJV)
It's not our job to personally avenge ourselves on those who do us wrong, or who indirectly hurt us, or whatever. God who loves us will see that justice is done for us. He saves the oppressed, not us. This isn't to say that we should let people run roughshod over us and never take any action, indeed, God has appointed people to execute justice in society. But we must never allow our lives and energy to be fueled into nothing but a passionate desire to get even with others.
One of my favorite short board games is "SORRY!", which is known on the side of it's box as "The game of sweet revenge." Oddly enough, the game has very little to do with revenge at all, and if it weren't for the slogan on the side, it would be a game of card-playing coincidence, not revenge. Just as the slogan can make people vengeful, however, revenge brought forward as the motivator for actions tends to take the joy out of things that could otherwise be good. Not only does revenge rob us of good things, it robs us of the joy of doing good things. Strangely, the game's slogan actually can encourage people to try and "get even" with one another when in reality the order of the cards dictates the whole game. In the same way, God is in control of what happens around us, and frankly, He's not impressed with a thirst for revenge.
So how do we handle people who try and go out of their way to harm us?
Paul writes:
"Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” (Romans 12:19-20 NKJV)
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” (Romans 12:19-20 NKJV)
Who's to say that your returning good for evil to those who treat you unkindly will not result in the glorification of your God and the bringing of those who once hurt you to the Gospel?
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